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Everybody loves a good laugh. Proverbs 17:22 even declares that “a joyful heart is good medicine.” Other Scriptures speak of its power, and I’m certain that you have experienced it in your own life. It seems that, even in times of great turmoil and strife, there’s something about laughter that can restore the soul and provide some much needed rest from any of our stress and pain. Unfortunately, many jokes nowadays are quite inappropriate and distasteful. In fact, the vast majority of popular comedians and comedy genre movies are full of that type of humor. It’s often sexual, full of foul language, and relies on demeaning other people in order to get a laugh. With much of it, it goes strictly against what the Bible tells us our speech should be like. But, despite all of this and regardless of popular opinion, there are clean jokes that are very funny. Here are 7 clean but hilarious church jokes. Let’s enjoy some laughter! Warning: some jokes may be very corny, but that can cause even more laughter. And, don’t forget to leave your own clean joke in a comment below!

1. Wedding joke in a church

A little girl finally got to attend a wedding for the first time. While in the church, the girl asked her mother: “why is the bride dressed in white?” The mother replied to the girl: “because white is the color of happiness and it’s the happiest day of her life today.”

After a little bit, the girl looks up at her mother and says: “But, then why is the groom wearing black?”

2. Marriage and Coffee

Shortly after tying the knot, a young married couple started arguing over who should make the coffee. Being a good Christian woman, the wife went to the scriptures for her answer. She said that the Bible specifically stated that men should be the ones to make the coffee.

Puzzled, the husband asked her where in the Bible it said that. Very confidently, the wife opened up her Bible and said: “It’s right here—HEBREWS.”

3. Solomon Joke

Where was Solomon’s temple located? – On the side of his head. Duh!

By the way, I did warn you and said some are very corny!

4. Adam & Eve

After having children, Adam and Eve started getting a lot of questions from their kids about why they no longer lived in Eden. Adam has a simple answer for this: “Your mother ate us out of house and home.”

5. The Sunday School Lesson

During a Sunday school lesson, a child learned about how God created human beings. The child became especially focused when the teacher explained how Eve was created from Adam’s ribs. Later on in the week, the boy’s mother saw him lying down on the floor, so she asked him what was wrong. His reply was priceless: “Mom, I have a pain in my side—I think I’m getting a wife.”

6. Boaz joke

What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth? Answer: He was Ruthless. (side note: this one is my favorite!)

7. The Kindergartener

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom as the children drew pictures. The teacher would occasionally walk around and see each child’s artwork. As she approached one little girl who was working especially hard, she asked what the drawing was.

The little girl told her: “I’m drawing God!”

“But sweety,” the teacher replied, “no one actually knows what God looks like.”

Automatically, the little girl continued drawing and said “well, they certainly will in a minute!”

Conclusion

There are many clean jokes out there, including ones based on the Bible, Christianity, and Jesus. We don’t need to go to the world to get jokes, especially since they are often full of sexual and demeaning content. Instead, Christians should be the one coming up with alternative jokes and materials that are clean, yet still funny. Believe it or not, there are even some pretty popular comedians out there who are completely clean and family friendly. So, do you know any clean jokes? Please spread the laughter and include the jokes you know (clean ones, obviously!) in a comment below. And, Bible/Christian jokes are a plus! Let’s get laughing!

17 Responses

  1. Sarah Hamblin

    My husband and I like to discuss the smallest men in the Bible… aside from Zaccheus, there was Bildad the “Shoe-height” Shuhite, and the disciples who fell asleep on their “watch”.

    Reply
    • Raj

      HAHA, good one!

      You may not have heard the follow up, but my Old Testament teacher did this on the first day of class, every single term…

      “Knee-High-Miah.” (Nehemiah)

      Reply
      • Dad of Seven

        Shortest man in the bible is the guard at the tomb who “slept on his watch”

  2. Yvonne

    What did the farmer say when he couldn’t find his tractor?

    Where’s my tractor?!

    Reply
  3. Luther Davis

    One day, I would love to see a Christian Stand Up Comic. A pastor was showing a
    recent convert around the church, showing him the different areas of the church. Walking by a plaque on the wall the child inquired as to the meaning of the long list of names. The pastor replied, “Those are names of our members who were killed in the Service……..after a pause, the boy asked……”The morning or the evening service?”

    Reply
  4. William Keeney

    A dear former pastor taught that the Sadducees were a Jewish sect of the time of Jesus Christ that denied the resurrection — which is why they were “sad you see.”

    Reply
  5. Van McQueen

    a man is stranded on an island 25 years alone. Finally a ship stops and sends a boat over to pick him up. As they leave the island, they notice three huts on the beach. When asked what they were, the man explained that the first hut was his home for 25 years. The second hut was his church. What about the third hut, they asked. Oh that’s the church I used to go to.

    Reply
  6. mario quitoriano

    Questions asked by people who have not read the Bible:
    1. are the Epistles the wives of the Apostles?
    2. are Sodom and Gomorrah husband and wife?
    3. Why did the Lord God created the man first? Ans. Practice makes perfect! Another answer: To give the man a chance to say something.
    4. When did the Lord God create man? Ans. In the afternoon, just before eve(Eve).

    Reply

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