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By Michael Krauszer

Auto-correct can often be a funny, yet annoying, thing to have on your phone. At times, it seems like your phone takes on a mind of its own and is simply just trying to mess with you. It will change a simple, commonly used word like “the” and automatically change it to something bizarre like “donut.” Thus, your text messages come across to another person as wildly funny—and stupid. Before the auto-correct hilarity, though, people knew of typos. You would type something up and a mistake went unnoticed. So, when someone finally reads your published work, it becomes noticed right away. Well, churches are not exempt from typos. The following is a list of the Top 10 Funniest Church Bulletin Typos of All Time. Let’s have some fun.

10. The Fasting and Prayer Conference
Includes Meal

Does it, now? That seems very tempting. For those wishing to fast, this church is going to cook some Filet Mignon right in front of you. They’re even hiring hibachi chefs for the occasion.

9. Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale.
It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around.
Don’t forget your husbands.

Wow! The church is condoning the act of selling husbands in a rummage sale. I wonder, what was the going rate? Don’t get on a wife’s bad side (not that she has one!). Happy wife, happy life.

8. Don’t let worry kill you.
Let the church help.

It seems like the church is now being hired as assassins—Holy Assassins.

7. Thursday at 5 PM will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club.
All wishing to become Little Mothers,
please see the minister in his private study.

Talk about scandalous. I couldn’t imagine what my reaction would be if I saw this in my church bulletin. How can anyone keep a straight face? Something tells me people erupted into laughter and odd looks the moment they saw this hilarious church bulletin typo.

6. The senior choir invites any member of the congregation
who enjoys sinning to join the choir

Do you enjoy sinning? Well, you are in luck! This church has just the place for you—the choir! Please register with them by stating the sins you love to commit on a daily basis. Preference is given to those who love sinning the most.

5. Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan
in preparing for the girth of their first child.

The poor, poor child. Let us pray…the child definitely needs it. But, will he even fit in our prayers?

4. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa,
will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist.
Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

I’m sure many people came out to hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa. I hope they have the audio archived; I’d love to listen to it. Besides the typo, can we just take a moment and reflect on how awesome that name is: Bertha Belch. Now, if only I’ll have a daughter someday…

3. The sermon this morning:
“Jesus Walks on the Water.”
The sermon tonight:
“Searching for Jesus.”

Poor Jesus :’( He tried to walk on water, but I guess it didn’t work out, according to this church at least. Do you think they found Jesus? Maybe he was just trying to find Nemo—one may hope.

2. For those of you who have children and don’t know it,
we have a nursery downstairs.

Do you think a lot of people realized this one? It took me a couple of times, but once I read it I had a nice little chuckle. If you have children but don’t know it, remember the church has a nursery…

1. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter
were married on October 24 in the church.
So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

As a man preparing to get married, this one had me laughing a lot. Essentially, this typo is telling congregants that, once Irving marries Jessie, they will no longer be friends. After all, remember the three rings of marriage: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering!

Final Thoughts

Has your church bulletin been filled with a hilarious typo before? If so, please share in the comment section below! Although typos seem antiquated when compared with the perils of autocorrect, they are still nonetheless hilarious. In fact, sometimes they can be even funnier than an auto-correct because an actual human being is the one making the mistake!

Enjoy this article too: Laughter and Leadership

15 Responses

  1. Roger Marsh

    This one is from the early days of the Salvation Army and went ‘viral’ through that church. The founder, General Wm Booth, would often lead meetings in various towns in the UK, traveling by train. The Army’s weekly paper, The War Cry, printed the following:
    “The General arrived on the platform to be greeted by a large crow (crowd) singing “Glory, Hallelujah!”.

    Reply
  2. Michael Viselli

    This isn’t a bulletin typo, but it’s close: I used to help with the worship slides. At the top of each slide was the song’s title, or an abbreviation thereof. Sometimes, we made our own titles, to distinguish between songs with similar titles. In this instance, it was “I see the Lord” – you can probably name a handful of songs with this chorus. Well, the chorus in this story was “I see the Lord, and He is High and Lifted Up!” – we abbreviated this to: “I see the Lord and He is High”.

    Reply
  3. Dennis Page

    This is not a bulletin typo, but rather humorous misstatement from our minster of youth and music, who, the previous day, had been in the delivery room at the birth of his firstborn child. He gets up in the pulpit, gushing over from the miracle he had just witnessed, and says “I wish you all could have been there at the moment of conception.” There was a moment of stark silence, then, like a dam breaking, the whole congregation, erupted in uncontrollable laughter. I have never seen anyone truly turn beet red until that day. As I recollect, he soon took a position at a church in another area.

    Reply
  4. Brent Snyder

    My father, brother, and I are full-time Music Evangelists. We’re “Sons of The Father”. We were out in Oklahoma many years ago now, doing a concert. For some reason the crowd was really down that night. We found out what might have been one of the reasons when we saw the advertisement in the church bulletin. “Saturday night, come hear ‘Sins of The Father’, singing a variety of gossip music.”

    Reply
  5. Ken Reese

    In a Kansas City, MO church, our administrative assistant missed the typo of inviting the congregation to join us in a Super Bowel Party. Obviously it meant Super BOWL Party. Come to think of it, we did eat a lot.

    Reply
    • james hansen

      during the intercessions at an Episcopal church the reader misread one of the intercessions & declared:
      We pay for all bishops priests and deacons
      instead of we pray for all bishops priests and deacons

      Reply
      • james hansen

        an old classic:
        There will be a Peter pull at St Taffy’s next Thursday.
        apparently that church secretary was taking St Brigid of Lidare’s advice> She wished to give God a lake of beer.

  6. Steven Lewis

    I got a good laugh from these and I’ve heard many of them before. I also do not believe that they are actually from a church bulletin and were probably written just as joke. For example, the Little Mother’s Club quote includes this comment: “please see the minister in his private study”. That is not a typo, nor do I know any pastor or secretary that would make a statement like that. I’ve heard the Bertha Belch gag all my life (68 years) and it’s always in a different setting or country. Like urban legends, they are just fun to read.

    Reply

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