Building a lasting relationship takes effort. Things like communication and honesty must be fostered in order to keep the union strong, and sometimes the conveniences offered by technology get in the way. While it is a useful tool for staying in touch and forming friendships, social media in particular often proves to put up barriers when it comes to maintaining the commitment of marriage.
Leads To Jealousy
Social media keeps people connected that otherwise either wouldn’t or shouldn’t be connected. Because of this, it can lead to a significant amount of jealousy and insecurities in a marriage. For instance, seeing someone else in a picture with your significant other, no matter how innocent and friendly the picture is, can cause mixed emotions and concerns about the truth behind that relationship. This is especially true when the other party in the picture is of the opposite sex, a close coworker or a past girlfriend/boyfriend. For this reason, social media is quickly becoming one of the biggest causes of issues and problems in relationships.
When accounts are set to private, password protected in a way that your spouse can’t access them or completely unknown to your spouse, problems often arise. While it is perfectly normal to have your social media account set private to the public or to people that you do not necessarily know a lot, your significant other should be able to see what you’re posting and who your friends are. When this isn’t the case, it opens up suspect of wrongful activities, even if the account is actually quite innocent.
Always Have To Be Connected
Another way in which social media can become a significant problem in a relationship is when one or both people involved in the relationship have to constantly be connected. This becomes a huge distraction in the relationship, and a lot of the times one or both may actually negate the relationship that’s right in front of them and focus too much on the virtual world. Actions like this shut down communication and leave little time for creating memories and developing a strong bond in the union. Scheduling technology free time on a daily basis is important to show that you value your spouse and protect the marriage.
Paints A Perfect Picture
Social media’s very inception causes many people to only post the good things in life. This often paints an inaccurate picture of a ‘perfect’ life that causes others to feel jealousy and resentment. This, in itself, can cause issues in a relationship because you will likely never be able to live up to the ‘fantasy’ that others may create with their social media accounts. No relationship is exclusively full of happy times, vacations and perfect memories. While these are a very real part of a strong marriage, everyone experiences times of hardship, and getting through those tough times is really what makes a relationship stronger. If you’re basing how your life as a couple should be off of the happy posts you see from friends and family on social media, you’re likely to feel inadequate when arguments ensue or tough times set in, and this can cause frustration with yourself and your partner.
In conclusion, social media has value, but it can cause problems in a relationship. If you must utilize social media in your daily life, try to minimize its impact by stepping away from time to time and making your ‘real life’ a priority. Doing so helps you to properly appreciate what you have and not spend all of your time focusing on people in the virtual world or the things others have or lives they are leading.
About the Author
Waverly Hanson is the best-selling author of “How to Divorce-Proof Your Marriage” available on Amazon in print and Kindle formats. She has been assisting individuals and couples with relationship and life transformations for more than 25 years as a therapist, counselor, coach and consultant. Visit her website marriagecounselingonline.mywebpal.com to learn more.